Farty tits.
Damn it…
Monday 28th
Se7en (1995) Sky Modern Greats, 10pm
What a way to start the week, a bona fide “Chris Malin Top
10-er”. I could wax lyrical about this film for the whole blog, but seeing as
you’d like to know what else is on I’ll keep it (relatively) short – this film
is perfect. There is not one thing I’d change. The film is directed by one of
my favourites David Fincher, who was doing his first feature after his debut Alien
3, which was, to say the least, a problematic production (Fincher has since
‘disowned’ the film). Suffice to say this was a big deal for the young(ish)
prodigy who had made his name directing videos for the likes of Madonna and
George Michael if he ever wanted to hit the ‘big time’. Luckily for us, the man
who went on to create such films as Fight Club and The Social Network didn’t
disappoint. The film follows two detectives, Detective Mills (Brad Pitt) and
Detective Somerset (Morgan Freeman) as they try to catch a serial killer who is
using the seven deadly sins as his inspiration for some rather grim murders. This
film is all about atmosphere - The world that Fincher creates is almost as vile
as the person committing the horrendous crimes; the film is rotten from the
core. A little bit of trivia for you -the role of Mills was originally offered
to Denzel Washington who passed on the opportunity as the film was too dark and
evil - and it’s not hard to see why. The skies constantly pour rain on to the
unlucky inhabitants of this unnamed city (although it can be presumed its New
York as the writer Andrew Kevin Walker drew inspiration from it when he wrote
the script as he was living there at the time) who all have to compromise their
own morals just in order to survive. In fact the only time we do witness true,
pure, beauty is in the form of J.S. Bach’s ‘Air for G String’ - and even that is being
corrupted by harrowing images and disturbing text on screen from such happy books
like Dante Alighieri’s The Divine Comedy. Basically a happy film it ain’t. But
what the film lacks in cheery antics is more than compensated for by the sheer
quality of production. - every shot is clinical, every performance assured,
every every is exemplary. If you haven’t guessed I highly recommend watching
this film – whether you’ve seen it already or not.
Office Space (1999)TCM 9pm
Mike Judge, one of the creators of King of the Hill, brings
us this comedy that does have some inspired moments. Basically there’s this guy
played by Ron Livingstone who gets fed up with his boring office job complete
with dick head manager (sound familiar?) and decides he wants to get fired.
Cynical, satirical, and hysterical – this film is a nice little watch that will
entertain and possibly evoke some home truths.
Harold and Maude (1971) Sky Classics 9pm
One of those films I say something to the effect of “more
people should watched this”, so with that in mind Harold and Maude is an
official More People Should of Watch This-er™. I’ll give you the concept to
whet your appetite – A young lad who is obsessed with death falls for an 80
year old woman. I know what you’re thinking, “excellent! A film I can watch
with the kids”, but if you fancy a quirky little number to expand your film
watching pallet then here you go.
Tuesday
The Iron Giant (1999) FILM4 5.05pm
While my last film probably wasn’t suitable for the kids
this certainly is. A film for all the family! Charming and thoughtful! Brad
Bird creates a film that will entertain countless generations for years to
come! They were my best attempts to create a poster quote you’d see to
advertise the film – I think I will stay away from a career in marketing – but
regardless of my faux advertising the sentiment still remains about the film -
it really is a great film. One of Brad Birds early directorial efforts after
cutting his teeth on a little known TV show called the ‘The Simpsons’, Monsieur
Bird showcases the talents that would go on to serve such films as ‘The
Incredibles’, ‘Ratatouille’ and ‘Up’. In fact Bird was my first choice to
direct the new Star Wars film but he was already directing a sci-fi number
called ‘1952’, maybe he will get his hands on with one of the latter ‘Wars’
numbers (for the record I am happy with the choice of J.J. Abrams for those of
you who care about my opinion on the matter).
Based on the book, “The Iron Man” by Ted Hughes, the film follows a
young boy as he befriends a large robot. As is typical for these kind of
things, people can’t just let a boy enjoy his giant robot and instead have to
interfere which is when all manner of things start going wrong. When will the
government learn?! Anyway, the film is a great watch so I recommend you erm...
watch it.
The Descendants (2011) 8pm
George Clooney has got quite good at starring in films that
are dramas, but not out and out dramas - they usually have another charming
element to them like, oh I don’t know, a bit of romance thrown in, or a bit of
comedy, and occasionally the odd sprinkling of tragedy (as is the case with
this film). I really like this genre (Sideways, Garden State, Little Miss
Sunshine, The Kids are Alright etc) and this film reaffirms my love for it,
just like Clooney’s previous foray into the genre with Up in the Air. The films
are usually an easy watch but have a habit of making you laugh, cry etc all in
a neat and tidy package with quality writing and acting. Basically if you want
a nice film to watch tonight then here you go. George Clooney plays a Dad
trying to reconnect with his daughters after his wife (and their mother) is
injured in a boating accident. No, it’s not the happiest of films (just like
director Payne’s previous effort/masterpiece Sideways) but the film is able to
make you care for the characters by making them extremely layered and three
dimensional – just like they are a normal family and you are watching part
their life. Great cinema.
Taxi Driver (1976) Sky Modern Greats or Boogie Nights (1997)
Sky Indie 10pm
There’s not a lot else on tonight, and I have recommended
these two films before, but I’ve put them down on the off chance you have not
watched either of them. If you consider yourself a film fan (Lee) you simply
have no excuse, so make sure you watch them!
Wednesday
American History X (1998) ITV4 10.05pm
Wow this is a powerhouse of a film. And by powerhouse I mean
the kind of film that when the credits start rolling you turn to the person you
are watching the film with, look at them wide eyed and let out a gasp of
exasperation because of the rollercoaster of a ride you have just been on. Let
me just put a disclaimer out there – this is not a happy film. Nor is it an
easy watch. It follows Ed Norton as a former neo-Nazi trying to get he and his
family’s life back on track after he leaves jail for a horrendous hate crime.
Don’t get me wrong, this is a class film, it’s just I want you to know what
you’re in for! The film is worth watching for Norton’s performance alone, but
the films will have your attention from start to finish if you can stomach
what’s on screen.
Romancing the Stone (1984) E4 8pm
I’ve never actually watched this film (got that out there
quickly), but have you? Have you?! No, so shut up. If you have, then kudos my
friend, you are one of the minority it seems. This film is meant to be really
good! From what I can tell it’s a bit like Indiana Jones; both in content and
the enjoyable nature it brings to the screen. It follows a woman (Kathleen
Turner) on the search for her kidnapped sister who teams up with a loveable
rogue (Michael Douglas) in order to find her. The reviews I read promise great
chemistry and good times to be had by all – this means I’ll definitely watch
this film tonight. Here’s Empire Online with their review if you don’t believe
me:
http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?DVDID=7234
The Warriors (1979) Sky Modern Greats, 11.50pm
‘Warriors... Come out to play!!!’ putting the cult in cult,
this is an AMAZING film which you should really watch. I’ve recommended it
before, but I’m recommended it again because, yes, you guessed it folks, it’s
an official More People Should of Watch This-er™. The film focuses on a dark
and moody New York on an evening where all the city’s gangs (and there are a
lot of them) are convening for a meeting organised by the top dog.
Unfortunately for The Warriors, one individual has decided to murder this top
dog aka Cyrus and frame The Warriors – which pretty much makes them a target
for all the other gangs of New York. Can The Warriors get back to their home
turf without being stabbed, shot and other nasty things? Well you’ll have to
watch to find out I’m afraid, but rest assured that this is a cool film which
will keep you on the edge of your seat. Extra points for the funky 70’s
soundtrack.
Thursday
The Magnificent Seven (1960) ITV4 9pm
Ah, a classic. Starring three of the biggest film stars of
the time (before they were especially massive – especially Steve McQueen) this
is proper Sunday afternoon television… you know, but on a Thursday. As a film
fan/geek/prick I should probably point out the film is a remake of Akira
Kurosawa’s superior ‘Seven Samurai’ (which I recommend you check out if the
opportunity arises), but this film holds up in its own right thanks to its
excellent cast and decent action. If you’re not familiar with it you may want
to wait for that rainy Sunday afternoon to properly enjoy it (believe me, it
won’t be long until it’s on) but for everyone else here’s your chance.
Sky Classic Double Bill: ‘The Sting’ (1969) and ‘Butch
Cassidy and the Sundance Kid’ (1979)
I think it was two weeks ago I recommended ‘The Sting’
stating that the double act of Robert Redford and Paul Newman is probably the
best on screen duo there’s ever been. Hell, it even managed to come up in
conversation with my friend Lee (hi Lee) on Saturday night it’s that good (I
have really wild nights out). But here we have both of the features to star the
golden duo, and you should feel very very lucky. Yes you may look at the dates
of the films and balk at them, maybe utter something along the lines of ‘how
the bloody hell can they be any good ya raving loony!’ But I would argue, ‘Sir!
Stop your dribbling and drivel, bot these films are just as watchable today as
they ever were!’ And I would of course be right. Both of the films are
classics. Both of the films will charm you to your giggling like a kitten (do
kittens giggle? Regardless the image works), and you will know that Newman and
Redford make Pitt and Clooney look like Affleck and Lopez (maybe a bit too far,
Clooney and Pitt are great, it’s just these two are really good). Please, please watch them and thank me later.
Wild Bill (2011) Sky Premier 12.15am
Dexter Fletcher, he of Lock Stock and Two Smoking battles,
he of Press Gang, and he of (for a short time anyway) Games Master, tries his
hand at the cockney gangster film vibe and does it pretty damn good actually. I
recommended this on Friday but I like to recommend the Sky Premier ones again
in case they get overlooked, so here you go. Right (ahem), this bloke yeah,
well when I say bloke I mean geezer, gets out the Jimmy Nail (jail, keep up)
and finds out his two geezer sons have been left by the former trouble and
strife (wife), so he does what every self-respecting old man does and takes him
to his east London flat, where naturally there is a bit of trouble and strife
(literally) and a lot of the use of the word ‘fack’. Decent watch so enjoy!
Friday
Jaws (1975) ITV4 9pm
A bit like Se7en I could write a full blog about the joys of
this film. Also a bit like Se7en this film is a bona fide “Chris Malin top
10-er”. I think I spoke about a film last week where I said people can take it
for granted and this is one of those films. What do I mean by that? I mean it’s
one of those films you may of watched when you were younger and while you
appreciate it’s a good film you wouldn’t take the time to go and watch it
again. In your mind it is a scary film about a shark that eats people. But, my
friend, it is so much more... It is one of the greatest directors of all time
hitting his stride and in the process tearing up the rule book for all that had
come before it. It is a master class of film making, ingenuity, suspense all
focused around a primordial sense of fear. ‘So yeah, like you said Malin, just
a scary film right?’ Well even if we looked it as JUST a scary film it’s impact
would still be immense. Look at how we don’t see the films titular character deep
into the third act – does that seem familiar? Think of most horror films that
include some sort of big nasty these days and the trend is to delay showing
what the people in the film fear most – the film is asking the audience to fill
in the gaps because the scariest thing a film can do is make effective use of
your imagination. Admittedly Spielberg did this almost by accident; the films
mechanical shark (lovingly called Bruce) would not work properly so the film
had to rely on having the films protagonist off screen. This would of not of
worked effectively without John William ‘less is more’ theme tune which
effectively becomes the shark (Spielberg knows this as well and even throws in
some red herrings to make you think the shark is there when it is not… or is
it?) and harks back to this primordial fear of the unknown. ‘So yeah, like I
said Malin, just a scary film right?’ No, because this is Spielberg my dear.
Rarely do just scary films have so many lovable and fully formed characters.
Such care and attention is poured into the interactions between the characters
without the use of the shark at all. These range from the heart-warming (Brody’s
son Sean mimicking his father’s movements), to the funny (Hooper’s face pulling
towards Quint) and to the terrifying (Quint’s speech about the Indianapolis),
this is a complete film, not one that just relies on a killer shark for all
entertainment. The shark might be the bit you focus on more, especially if you
watched it when you were younger, and naturally so, it’s fucking terrifying (I
still can’t go in the sea without wincing), but as you get older perhaps you
are more able to pull back and appreciate all this care and attention that you
did not realise was there because you were too busy hiding behind a cushion.
Lee, who I’ve mentioned a couple of times throughout this blog (we were at a party
together, a house warming party, nothing weird, like a swingers party… I’m not
gay I promise), rates this as his favourite film and I can completely
understand why. The film is as deep as the ocean it surrounds itself in and
treats the audience similarly, not just appealing to the audience’s need for aesthetic
gratification but pulling at the strings of our deepest, most innate
fears. Not many films have been as
analysed as much as this, and not many films can cause two people just to talk
about it for a good half hour in the middle of a party while everyone else
points and laughs (cause we were talking, nothing else). Even if you’ve watched
this film I really recommend you watch it again to see what I mean. Or failing
that just to be terrified by that music again which Spielberg thought was a
practical joke played by Williams when he first played it to him as it was so
simple. It’s one of the greatest films of all time and deserves to be adored by
everyone.
The Day of the Jackal (1973) Sky Classics 9pm
No not the Bruce Willis re-make (‘The Jackal’ for the
record), the original, silly. I have never seen this film. I know, awful, but
don’t let that stand in your way because in most places you look the film is
revered. A simple concept: A hitman sets out to kill the French President. I
wonder who us fair minded English will be rooting for... If you don’t believe
me about the good reviews here is one from Empire Online to tempt you...
http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?FID=131873
Risky Business (1983) Sky Modern Greats 10pm
As iconic 80’s films go this is pretty much up there... not
quite at the top, no (hello Mr. Bueller), but the scene of a young Tom Cruise
sliding across the floor in his underwear, socks and shades is recognisable to
most. Is it the greatest film ever? No. Is it even an excellent film? Ah, no. So
why the hell am I recommending it?! Well, it does have some redeeming features,
most notably a young Mr. Cruise showing that million dollar smile which would
keep him a megastar to this very day (to hell with scientology!). It’s just one
of those films you could probably do with watching. A reminder of simpler
times. It’s an easy watch so don’t worry
about taxing your noggin too much. Yeah, just try it. Go on now, away with you.
Honourable Mention – Demolition Man (1993) ITV 10.35pm
I think certain friends (most notably a certain an
individual called ‘Rimmer’) would of had me crucified if I didn’t recommend
this brilliant and brainless action film... and rightly so. Stallone at his
best. Snipes at his best.... What’s not to love? Also if you can figure out how
the three shells work can you please let me know? Thanks
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