Well whooooooooo enjoyed the snow? Great wasn’t it. You know…
apart from when it turns to slush after being around for 5 minutes. Or making
it almost impossible to drive anywhere. Or having people talk about it
constantly on Facebook and taking shitty picture after shitty picture of a tree
with some snow on it or a massive cock made out of snow. Or making it too cold
to go outside. Like really really cold. Like so cold you can feel your body
organs slowly shutting down one by one if you’re outside longer than 5 minutes
without half your wardrobe wrapped around you.
I hate the snow.
I don’t think Liam Neeson likes it too much either…
Monday 21st
The Grey (2011) Sky
Premier, 11pm
I recommended this last week, but it was on the Friday so I
know a lot of you crazy cats were probably out and about gallivanting the night
away so here we are... Liam Neeson continues his transformation into the
premier action star of modern day cinema with another commanding performance
that cements one true fact inside your head – “You don’t want to fuck with Liam
Neeson”. Tired of beating several shades of shit out of mere human foes in
Taken, Liam decides to test himself against pack of wolves after his plane
crashes in Alaska. Tasked with not only his own survival but also that of the
rest of the passengers left standing after the crash, Liam leads this ultra-tense
thriller that will even have you looking at your beloved mutt in a different
light. Great cinema.
Primal Fear (1996)
Sky Modern Greats, 11.15pm
I haven’t seen this film and Empire don’t rate it to highly,
“so why on earth are you recommending it?” I can hear you yelp. Well, a) It’s a
quiet night and b) It’s got 7.6 on IMDB and it’s recommended in a few other
places too... So, here it is, I’ll leave you to decide whether you want to
watch it or not. The concept is interesting enough – Ed Norton is an altar boy
accused of murdering a priest and his only hope lies in a shot lawyer played by
Richard Gear. Did he do it? Did he not? Oh the suspense...
Here are two reviews:
A good one – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117381/
Say Anything (1986)
TCM, 11.10pm
Now this one you should have some familiarity with even if
you haven’t seen it. The title might not ring a bell but there is one enduring
image from the film that should get you going “Oooh that film” through either
seeing it on a highlights reel or a spoof of it. This image:
“Ooooh that film”
Directed by Cameron Crowe (he of Almost Famous and Jerry
Maguire fame), it's an intelligent teen comedy which is sweet, funny and has an awesome soundtrack. Highly recommended.
Tuesday
Frozen River (2008)
Sky Indie, 6.10pm
Who likes sad depressing indie films that try to be all
original and cool?? Anyone? Anyone apart from the boys and girls who like to
wear lots of dark make up and black nail polish? Anyone at all? Is this mike
on? Well you should have your hands up because the American Indie Movie scene
is pretty damn cool but can have a bad rep because of annoying know it all
freaks who like to reference some obscure movie to show cool they are but in
reality they live very sad lives i.e. me. Well start your education here with
this tidy little number about a woman whose husband left her penniless after he
did a runner with all their savings so she has to turn to smuggling illegal
aliens over the border. Doesn’t grab your fancy, huh? Well give it a shot cause
it’s good and you need to broaden your horizons a bit… please don’t hate me.
Mad Max (1979) SYFY,
10pm
One of those films that I find a lot of people are aware of
but haven’t actually watched. With a remake on the way starring Tom Hardy in
the titular role this could represent a good opportunity to prepare you for
what lies ahead. The film that launched Mel Gibson kicking and screaming in to
the world – 30 odd years later and he’s still kicking and screaming (albeit
only at Jewish people), let’s watch a film that reminds us why we love/d Mel in
the first place in one of his most iconic roles – the road warrior. It’s the
future and things are crap (isn’t it always), Max is a former cop with revenge
on the mind after a biker gang kill pretty much everyone he cares about. Watch
it, it’s good.
City of God (2003)
Sky Indie, 11.50pm
There’s not a lot else on tonight so I’m going to recommend
a classic for those poor souls who still won’t have watched it – bless ‘em.
Very much a modern great, it follows Rocket, a young lad growing up in Brazil,
who is just trying to make his way in life – but keeps running into little
problems like drugs, murder and women. People who live in Liverpool will also
be familiar with this.
Wednesday
Quadrophenia (1979)
ITV4, 10pm
A film that both defined a generation and continues to
inspire further generations – you can’t get more cult that this. Ever wondered
what’s it like to be a Mod growing up in the 60’s? Probably not – chances are
if you have then you’ll already have seen this film, dreamt of owning a
Lambretta and think Paul Weller is some sort of deity. It’s a worth watch even
if you don’t feel the need to sew a Royal Air Force badge on to your coat, it
follows a young lad who is taken in by a Mod gang and their way of life –
looking very sharp, chatting up girls and having the occasional fight. Weird
huh?
The Foot Fist Way
(2006) Film4, 11.10pm
This might just get my recommendation of the week, not
necessarily because it’s the best film on the list, I just think it’s a very
good film that more people could do with watching. So, hey! Everyone, just,
stop glancing through the films, seeing if you recognise any of them, ok here,
I’ll get you attention:
Thankyou, and welcome back... Danny Mcbride is one of the funniest blokes going
at the moment, you will be familiar with him if you have watched Pineapple
Express (Red) or his own TV show “Eastbound and down”, and this is the film
that brought him to very important people’s attention – namely Will Ferrell and
Adam Mckay. Danny is a pretty worthless Karate instructor trying to get by in
life… In fact that’s pretty much all you need to know. Just watch it. It’s
funny as fuck.
Midnight Run (1988)
Sky Modern Greats, 1.30am
Who like De Niro? I like De Niro! And so do many people, so
here we go, enjoy this one my fellow De Niro enthusiasts, or as I like to think
the group would be called “The committee committed to showing their
appreciation for all things Robert De Niro
pre 2000” or TCCTSTAFATRDNP2000” for short. De Niro is a bounty hunter
escorting an Accountant to jail who is coming under lots of attention from
people like the FBI and the Mafia.
Thursday
The Rules of
Attraction (2002) Sky Indie, 2.05am
Roger Avary is one of the creative minds behind Pulp
Fiction, a little film back in the 90’s where the other mind behind it went on
to do some stuff as well. Suffice to say Roger hasn’t exactly followed the same
fortunes as the other bloke, but he did create this little gem, and I am very
thankful that he did. Following a group of students in the 80’s who are all
pretty repulsive in their own way (except in their looks) mixing together and
focusing pretty much on drugs and sex – is there anything else students think about?
Boasting an impressive cast headlined by Mr Dawson Creek himself, James Van Der
Beek, the film has some razor sharp dialogue sprinkled with some controversial
moments to a killer soundtrack and likes to get stuck up its own ass once in a
while – what’s not to love. Watching = Enjoyment. Simple
Braveheart (1995)
FILM4. 9pm
I think this one of those films that people can sometimes
take for granted, having either watched it once, enjoying but never going back
to it again, or just ignoring altogether cause they’ll watch it some other day.
Well today is that day people cause there’s…. not a lot else on if I’m honest.
Mel Gibson makes his second appearance this week (well done Mel), playing
William Wallace in another of his most iconic roles. Is it the most accurate
film ever? No. Does it nearly cripple under its own weight on a couple of
occasions? Yes. Is it stunningly beautiful, boasts a great actor in a great
role and has some great big, bloody battle scenes? Yes, yes and double yes.
Crazy Stupid Love
(2011) Sky Comedy, 5.50pm
Hard day at work? Need cheering up? Sit down on the sofa
with this on and let Ryan and his abs do the rest.
Friday
The Odd Couple (1968)
Sky Classics, 9.05pm
Thinking of moving in with your mate? Not sure if you’ll get
on? Then watch this for inspiration. I cannot emphasise this enough, this film
is a classic! The fact that Empire calls this Jack Lemmon and Walther Matthau’s
finest hour should tell you all you need to know as their IMDB profiles are
littered with greats. The chemistry is explosive, the deliveries are pitch
perfect and it’s still funny even after all this time. Give it a chance, you
won’t be disappointed.
Wild Bill (2011) Sky
Premiere, 12.15am
Alright guv’? Da fack is this? Another fackin’ Landan
gangster movie brav? Why yes it is my dear fellow! And it’s meant to be a
bloody good one too old chap. Haven’t seen it myself but Empire Online speak
very highly of it and they know a thing or two about this movie lark –
Midnight in Paris
(2011) Sky Indie, 10pm
And I was doing so well for movies I’d seen this week. Woody
Allen continues to dazzle in his twilight years (he did have a few stinkers a
few years back but has recovered nicely). Owen Wilson plays a struggling writer
who goes to the city of his love with his fiancée (Rachel McAdams) to find
inspiration – and inspiration he gets when he mysteriously finds himself
travelling back to 1920’s Paris every day at Midnight – talk about hitting the
lottery. It’s meant to be charming and delightful and all things sweet, or so
Empire would have you believe, so enjoy!
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