The nights are drawing in, it’s cold outside, and everyone
is getting ill. Christmas is close, but it’s not close enough to get excited,
yet it is close enough to start thinking about all the money you’re about to
spend i.e. it’s a pretty shit time of the year.
You’re probably expecting me to say how I’ve got loads of
films to make you feel better.
Nope, they are shit too.
Let’s all get drunk.
Here are the recommendations for the week.
Monday
Training Day (2001) ITV1 11.05pm
What’s this? Training Day? On a Monday night?! Oh man, this
is awesome. Screw my depressed opening, frickin’ Training Day is on. Two
problems:
a)
You’ve probably seen it before. You probably
even have it on DVD.
b)
It really goes against why I do this blog, I’m
meant to be drawing your attention to new films.
Well to answer your valid enquiries Mr or Mrs Smarty-pants,
a) Everyone knows films are better on TV and b) there’s not much on today. Plus
it’s a Monday, and Mondays are crap; this is the perfect film to get into bed
in with and forget about the day – just be prepared to stay up 1.15am cause you
know you won’t be able to stop watching once you start.
Escape from New York (1981) ITV4 11.05pm
Want to see one of the coolest bad asses in movie cinema
history? Of course you do – enter Kurt Russell. Kurt is Snake Plisken and, as
mentioned, he is the coolest bad ass going. So much so that when the President
crashes into a maximum security facility there is only one bloke to send in to
go and get him… Yep, the coolest bad etc. Great action film from John
Carpenter, do yourself a favour and watch it.
Submarine (2010) FILM4 9pm
Liar, Liar (1997) Universal 9pm
“Here she comes to wreck the dayyyyyyyy!” A Jim Carey
vehicle that is remembered fondly by most of us, I’m putting it on here as it
is tucked away on Universal and it’s always good for a giggle.
Submarine (2010) FILM4 9pm
I recommended this the other day but, as previously
mentioned, it is a quiet day for movies. Regardless of that, I’d still
recommend it again because I think not enough people have watched this and it’s
one of the best English comedies I have seen in a while. It’s populated with
wonderfully entertaining characters and has a raw, quirky vibe going
throughout. The film follows Oliver, a very peculiar young man who is obsessed
with losing his virginity and rescuing the marriage of his parents. Watch and
savour.
Tuesday
Tyrannosaur (2011) FILM4 11.05pm
If you like your films English, gritty and so depressing you
need to make sure the room you’re watching the film in has no sharp objects in
it, then here you go. Paddy Considine’s directorial debut, it follows a down and outer played with amazing gusto by
Peter Mullan as he inadvertently stumbles upon a means of redemption. It’s
extremely well made with very fleshed out characters – which makes it all the
more hard to watch. Despite not being the happiest of films about, it’s quality
is undeniable.
Swingers (1996) Sky Comedy 11.30pm
One of my favourite films which occupies a very special
place in my heart and I find it criminal more people have not watched it.
Starring a very young Jon Favereau and Vince Vaughan, this film follows a bunch
lads try and make it big in Los Angeles, while giving a good insight into just what
does make blokes tick. Very clever and heart-warming, if I am ever down about
my lot in life this is the film that I can put on which I know will cheer me
up. Which isn’t very often. Cause I’m class.
Who am I kidding I watch it weekly goddamn it.
Wednesday
Erin Brockovich (2000) CH 5 9pm
What a shocker, I haven’t seen this. It’s such a chick
flick! Albeit an intelligent one… apparently (intelligent chick flick...
oxymoron?). I know I don’t have an excuse, and trust me I’ll be watching it
(with “I’m Every Woman” playing in the background), but in the meantime here is
Empire Online’s review.
Argo (2012) Cinema
This week continues its slim pickin’s, but not to worry it
gives you an opportunity to get down the cinema and see the film that has
apparently completed a hat-trick of awesome films for one Ben Affleck – who’d
of thought this 10 years ago? Not me, that’s for sure. I will be using the
wonderful Orange Wednesdays to make sure I catch this and I recommend you do too.
If my recommendation is not enough then please take into consideration that it
got an “A+” from Cinemascore, which, believe me, does not happen often.
Thursday
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005) ITV2 11.30pm
Woah woah woah, hold the bloody horses - this is a great
little film here which bucks the trend for the poor showing we’ve witnessed
this week. This film is by Shane Black and he is the fine gentlemen who brought
us Lethal Weapon and will soon be bringing the latest Iron Man to the silver
screen. The main reason he is seen as so awesome is his quick fire dialogue
which is as sharp as it is funny. The
story is a bit all over the place – Robert Downey Jr. plays a thief, who then
becomes an actor, who then becomes a detective. Throw in Val Kilmer as a gay
private eye and you got yourself a movie! Sit back and enjoy a film that’s
enjoying itself as much as you are – in a pretentious kind of way, because it
knows how smart it is: which means you can watch it with a smug smile too cause
in doing so it automatically makes you better than other people.
The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951) More4 11.10am
Well, what another pleasant surprise for everyone, one of
the most important science fiction films of all time. This film rescued a genre
that was in trouble of descending into permanent b-movie madness. This film
arguably lit the blue touch paper for sci-fi to become one of the most
expressive forms of medium in cinema which would be fully utilised by the great
directors of countless generations to convey both their dreams and fears. The
film tells the story of a pair of aliens who land on earth after the Second
World War in order to save humanity, will their message be heard? And what
lengths will they have to go to for us to understand?
Friday
The Fifth Element (1997) 5* 9pm
I really do love this film, it’s a great sci-fi flick that
has Bruce Willis, Gary Oldman and Chris Tucker in great form (although my last
pick is a little controversial). This
film is all kinds of fun because it keeps the action coming thick and fast, all
the while combining it with an amazing visual style which is inspired by Blade
Runner just as much as it is inspired by the catwalk (Jean-Paul Gautier helped
design the costumes). Bruce is sardonic, Gary is crazy and Milla Jovovic is
looking fine as… so just whack it on and whack one off.
The Master (2012) Cinema
And so the weekend’s arrival reflects pretty much what’s
gone on the rest of the week – not a lot. But never fear there are options.
You’ve got Silence of the Lambs on TCM at 1am, Pulp Fiction on Sky Modern
Greats at 10pm orrrrrrrrrr you can do something out of left field and see this
new release from Paul Thomas Anderson (Boogie Nights, There Will Be Blood etc.).
It’s about an ex-soldier (Joaquin Phoenix) who falls into a life of drifting
after the Second World War only to be rescued by enigmatic cult leader,
Lancaster Dodd (Phillip Seymour Hoffman). All this should make you want to
watch it very much, but if you still need convincing how about a 5 star from
Empire Online. Oh no he didn’t.
http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?FID=137629
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