Decent Films to Watch This Week (25/03/13)

Monday

The Godfather Part 2 (1974) FILM4 9pm

The greatest film of all time? Possibly. The greatest Godfather movie of all time? Possibly. The fact that a series of films can have two genuine shouts for the supreme title of ‘greatest film of all time’ is a supreme testament to Francis Ford Coppola – and further condemnation to the series’ ugly duckling ‘Part 3’ (what did happen with that?!). The film balances two members of the same family rise to power. Firstly we have Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) who has inherited the family business following the demise of his father, Vito Corleone (Marlon Brando in the original Godfather). And then the film shows how Vito rose to prominence in the first place – this time played by Bobby De Niro. To call the film a masterpiece would be predictable, yet 100% accurate – the film is littered with so many great moments - the kiss of death, the boat ride…anything with De Niro. Yes I am a bit stuck for time so I can’t do too many recommendations tonight, but to be honest there is few films that can compete with this… except maybe its forbearer.

Or…

Road House (1989) CH5 10pm

Patrick Swayze. As the world’s hardest bouncer. In the world’s tightest jeans. Literally about as far as you can get from Godfather in tone, it’s still stupidly enjoyable… with a very high emphasis on the word ‘stupid’.

Margin Call (2011) Sky Indie 10pm

I recommended this a couple of weeks ago, but for those who still haven’t seen it, make sure you record it. Very accomplished film with an outstandingly assured cast – it follows the early days of the recession localised in an investment bank. Fascinating stuff.

Tuesday

Spirited Away (2001) FILM4 6.30pm

This really is one of my favourite films of all time. The creator of this film is called Hayao Miyazaki, and he is widely regarded as the Walt Disney of Japan. When you take this film into consideration it’s easy to see why – the film is tremendously beautiful while balancing moments of heart felt tenderness and other moments which are wonderfully funny and will have adults and children laughing a like. The film follows a young girl who is separated from her family when she is trapped in a magical bath house and her attempts to get back home with her parents. I cannot recommend this film highly enough and it is essential viewing for everyone.

Wednesday

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings (2001) FILM4 9pm

Number 4 on Chris Malin’s “greatest film of all time list”, this is a film that me and a lot of my friends have a very personal connection with. “Why?” might you ask. And rightly so. Have we gone on a hunt for a magic ring? No. Have we had many dealings with hobbits? No. Have we had anything to do with any of the subject matter presented in this film? Erm... no. So why, God, why do I/we care so much? Cause the film makes us care - it’s just so fucking beautiful. Every aspect of it. Like a fine piece of art, or your favourite song -  it evokes a myriad of emotions out of you that make you care. From the wonderfully created land of middle earth to the well formed characters you genuinely have interest in. From the breath taking action sequences to the more tender moments which can evoke tears from grown men... every aspect of this film is created with such attention to detail and in such a sensitive manner that you fall in love with every piece of this film. You feel a sense of warmth and comfort when Gandalf is on the screen, you cheer on the fellowship as they battle against impossible odds... I’m getting tingles just thinking about the film now. I must watch this film at least once every couple of months or so and I know plenty who do the same (Cobra and DFB being notable shout outs), and I will 100% be watching this tonight as well. A perfectly formed film that knows exactly what it wants to do. Entertain the fucking bejesus out of you. Classic.
Princess Mononoke (1997) FILM4+1 7.05pm

After Spirited Away yesterday we now have this offering from Studio Ghibli... another classic from one of the most prolific animation studios of all time. If I could sit down with everyone I know and make them watch this film tonight I really would cause it’s just a different level of film making to most stuff you see – The films follows a young prince who has a cursed arm. Naturally for a cursed arm it has a habit of doing ‘bad things’. The prince goes on a journey through a magical land to search for cure for the curse. This brings him into contact with a whole host of characters – including the mysterious Princess Mononoke. The animation is astonishing, making everything come to life on screen to offer thrills and spills around every corner. First class film making from one of the few studios to rival Pixar in terms of quality.

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) FILM4 12.25am

Good Lord FILM4 is knocking it out the park tonight – this completes the hat trick for them. Perfectly following on from the previous two films sense of awe and wonderment from wonderfully fantastical worlds – this is the film that is perhaps most grounded in reality and as such provides the scariest and terrifying fairy tale of them all. Set against the back drop of the Spanish Civil War, the film follows a young girl, Ofelia who is going to start a new life when her Mother marries an evil army officer. Amongst all the chaos, Ofelia escapes into a fantasy world where she must go on a quest for an magical Faun... Even though this is a fairy tale, this is a film very much for adults only, the horror that often pops on screen can be graphic and very scary – including one of the most tense scenes of all movie history when Ofelia must venture into a monster’s lair... Just as amazing as the other two efforts tonight, I cannot offer enough superlatives and hyperbole to tell you just how good this film is, but I’ll – Fucking bloody fantastic.

And just to boot...

Pulp Fiction (1994) Sky Movie Greats 11.35pm

Thursday

Whoops… was a TGI’s, sorry

 

Friday

Battle Royale (2000) FILM4 12.20am

Set your recorders for this fellow film geeks – tis not to be missed. Anyone wondering what The Hunger Games would be like if it was an 18 certificate wonder no more – this Japanese film puts a class of school children on an island with a loads of weapons and says ‘last one alive wins’. It’s as shocking as you would imagine it to be and will have you on the edge of your chair throughout. Not to be missed.

Winter’s Bone (2010) BBC2 10.45pm

Talking of Hunger Games – here we have Jennifer Lawrence’s breakout performance. It’s a very bleak, very dirty, very unglamorous film about one girls search to find her errant father within a morally dubious mountain settlement in the US. Fun it ain’t, but it’s certainly a harrowing and haunting watch which is full of quality.

The Lord of the Rings Return of the King (2003) FILM4 9pm

Can’t get much epic that this – thrilling conclusion to one of the greatest trilogies of all time.

The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) Sky Premier 8pm

I liked it, y’know, hence the recommendation. Andrew Garfield takes up the reigns of everyone’s favourite friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man from Toby Maguire in a very entertaining re-boot of one of Marvel’s most famous characters. (500) Days of Summer’s director Marc Webb takes over from Sam Raimi in order to ramp up the teen angst and he does so admirably. It doesn’t hit every beat but a worthy watch nevertheless.

The Fly (1986) Sky Greats 9.40pm

Tenuous link from arachnid to insect aside, this is a classic horror film. Jeff Goldblum is the scientist Seth Brundle, who is trying his hand at teleportation when it all goes wrong when his DNA is spliced with that of, yep you guessed it, a fly. Seth then starts his transformation into The Fly and we as an audience have to try very hard to keep our collective dinners down. Not for the feint hearted.

No Country for Old Men (2007) MORE4 10pm

Quite simply a modern classic. The Coen brothers take us on a thrill ride of a film as one man stumbles across a failed drug deal and steals the money he finds at the scene. He is then pursued by a seemingly unstoppable killer who is hell bent on recovering the money. Incredibly acted – this film oozes quality and is achingly tense – you have to watch this film.

 

Decent Films to Watch This Week (18/3/13)

[Insert mildly amusing and sometimes topical intro here]

Monday

Once Upon a Time in the West (1968) Sky Classics 7.30pm

I’m always slightly concerned when I come to write my blog at the start of the week and Monday is good. It just very rarely bodes well for the rest of the week, almost like it has been jinxed. I dare not look at the rest of the TV guide now as I am of a nervous disposition following a particularly messy weekend in London (eurgh) – but while my bodily organs re-arrange themselves, I can focus on this, a film Empire describes as the greatest western of all time. While I am in no position to either confirm or deny (regular readers will know I am working on my knowledge of Westerns – then after I have completed that I will be able to work on not being a cunt), I can confirm that this is an AMAZING film. Lazy writing with capital letters aside, it is seriously cool, and if you want to question how cool it is then just watch the opening scene, when Harmonica (Charles Bronson) comes to town. The tune that Harmonica lets out of his instrument of choice (can you guess what it is?), will be instantly recognisable even if you are not familiar with the film itself, and just showcases the quality that has been poured into every aspect of this film. The film follows the aforementioned Harmonica joining forces with Cheyenne (Jason Robards) as they hunt down the killer of a young woman’s husband and family, Henry Fonda’s Frank. It’s a beautiful, grandiose film that is the directors best work, and considering as he also did A Fistful of Dollars and The Good, The Bad and The Ugly then it’s worth a bit of respect. I guess.

Margaret (2011) Sky Indie 10pm

You know I love a choice from Sky Indie, and no (for the more cynical out there), it’s not (just) because I can get on my film fan pedestal while swinging my dick around shouting out such words as ‘alternative’, ‘edgy’ and ‘real’. It’s because the channel throws up little gems that I am not aware of – and yes maybe it is a bit arrogant, but I’m guessing the majority of you are not familiar with them either (feel free to correct me). But here we have this (potential) gem – Anna Paquin (her of True Blood fame) playing a girl who witnesses a fatal bus crash who feels obliged to ‘set things right’ as she feels she unwittingly played some part. Through this process she starts to turn her life upside down as her youthful exuberance comes into conflict with the realities of the real world. Empire says it is good, so worth a try! Then go into work tomorrow claiming you watched a film that only ‘true film’ fans would know about it and see how popular you are with everyone. It’s great – in that it’s great to cry yourself asleep every night. Alone. And wet (don’t ask).

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?DVDID=119035

Quite a few films for your viewing pleasure tonight, huzzah! Here we go….

The Artist (2011) Sky Drama/Romance 8pm – ‘Silent film takes world by storm shock!’ were not the literal headlines, but they were not far off.  It’s a brilliant film worth everyone’s time, so make sure you give it a go, yeah?

Roadtrip (2000) Sky Comedy 9.40 – I wonder if this film is as funny as I remember it. Well if it doesn’t have chimpanzee’s playing football or a dog smiling/talking/dancing/being a dog then probably not, but I’m sure you are curious as well as I loved this film back in the day.

Speed (1994) 5* 9pm – ‘Oh darn’, now here’s a film I’ll know I’ll still like! ‘Pop quiz hotshot…’, what’s a film with great action, a great soundtrack, Keanu looking great, and is just generally great? Speed motherfucker, that’s what.

Brokeback Mountain (2005) FILM4

Surprisingly I have not watched this film. Unsurprisingly I really do want to see it and have been looking forward to it for a while. No not because I’m gay (I’m not gay, I can’t stress that enough), or I just like to watch bumming but definitely not join in. Nor is it because I harbour any ambition of being a cowboy, let alone a gay cowboy or a straight cowboy that gets drunk from time to time and does things with other straight drunk cowboys that I would never usually do, it’s just I was drunk and if you tell anyone I’ll kick your ass. No I simply want to watch it because it is a very good film about forbidden love… between two gay cowboys. And I love Heath Ledger. In a straight way that is. Not a straight drunk cowboy who goes to straight drunk cowboy bars on the weekend just because the music is good, and definitely not any other reason.

Here’s EmpireOnline’s review, 5 *’s by the way…

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?DVDID=117231

Big Trouble in Little China (1986) Sky Modern 10pm

If you want an utterly ridiculous film that is lots of fun and has Kurt Russell in it then here you go. It’s brilliantly whacky, does not take itself too seriously and has loads of mystical martial arts thrown into boot as well. John Carpenter goes against type with this film and shows he knows how to have a good time as opposed to scaring the shit out of everyone (he also directed horror classic’s The Thing and Halloween). To try and give you a taste of what the film is about – Kurt plays truck driver Jack Burton, a very manly man who drives a truck and is very much is his own boss. Jack one of his jobs becomes embroiled in an ancient war between two warring mystical martial art factions. His truck gets stolen along with his mate’s fiancé, so Jack, not being one to take shit from people, goes on an adventure to get it back. It really is a lovely film and well worth your time. Just don’t take it too seriously.

Love and Other Drugs (2010) Sky Comedy 11.35pm

Entertaining rom-com with an edge starring Anne Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal. Jake plays Jamie Randall, a guy trying to make it big in medical sales being a Drug Representative who falls for wildcat Maggie Murdock – who just happens to be a Parkinson’s sufferer. What follows is not your usual Rom-Com as it will make you laugh and make you cry – hey, maybe it is your usual rom-com after all… Ok maybe the quality of the film is what differentiates it from the rest, Jake and Anne are great, the script is sharp and very sexy – this owes a lot though to how good Anne looks naked as well. See, I’m not gay! Promise!

I miss Heath L

Wednesday

Tremors (1989) ITV4 10.05pm

Kevin Bacon, he of the EE advert fame, used to do movies you know? Actually, that’s a bit unfair; you know full well he does movies. I mean who am I to judge anyway, me sitting here in the study of my parent’s house wearing a Marks and Spencer’s suit, writing this blog. .. God I make myself sick sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, the suit’s nice and everything, it’s just I was a bit mean to Kevin when I shouldn’t of been.

Sorry Kev.

Anyway, here we have a very fun film that does not take itself too seriously, much like the entertaining fare that was Big Trouble in Little China last night – Kevin is one part of a duo that stroll into a small town in the American Mid-West which just so happens to be under siege by an army of giant, man eating worms. Yes, you guessed it, a classic love film then. It’s a great little watch, have a joyous time with it.

The Odd Couple (1968) Sky Classics 8pm

Is there any chance of you watching this? Is there really? I get the distinct feeling when I recommend films pre 1980 that they instantly get disregarded as being old and boring. And yes, sometimes that can be the case. Popular taste does have a habit of changing after all – I mean have you seen what they used to wear in the 18^th century? Geez! But in the case of this film, it really is as entertaining today as it has ever been. It features one of the great screen duos of all time in Walther Matthau and Jack Lemon as the friends who decide to live together despite their differing habitual habits. It really is a classic and one I whole heartedly recommend.

American Psycho (2000) Sky Modern Greats 10.05pm

I didn’t recommend this too long ago, but it’s a bit of a quiet night and I just want to make sure everyone has watched it. First of all, it’s probably not what you think it’s going to be. What do you think it’s gonna be? Probably a film that is set in the 80’s about some young 80’s businessman dude goes around hacking people up.  And is it that?! Well, yes… kinda. But it’s so much more! Focusing in on the attitude that was prevalent at the time – namely the yuppy culture’s obsession with money and everything having to ‘bigger’,’ better’, and ‘louder’, this follows one man need to prevail over his counterparts one step further when he dreams of killing pretty much anyone who he comes into contact with The film is about as much a horror as it is a satirical comedy, which is very much a juxtaposition of contrasting ideologies and gives you an idea of the ‘unique’ film you are about to witness. Enjoy.

Crazy Stupid Love (2011) Sky Comedy 10.30pm

The abs, man! Look at the abs!

Thursday

Tonight is crap and I’m rushed for time so apologies for the quick run through and poor grammar.

Moneyball (2011) Sky Drama/Romance 8pm

Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill bring to life an Aaron Sorkin (he of West Wing and Social Network) screenplay about baseball. Hang on, stay with me here, it’s quite interesting. Jonah Hill is an economics graduate who notices that baseball is one big collection of predictable statistics – something else no one else has picked up on (keep going it’s a good film). No-one until Brad Pitt takes notices though! (Brad is not called Brad in this production but I haven't got time to go on IMDB to check what the character’s name is – one could argue that the amount of focus I’ve drawn to my lack of research could of easily covered the amount of  time taken that could of alternatively been used to go on IMDB, but I’m gonna stick to my principles here – or lack thereof). Brad is in charge of a struggling baseball team and needs some good, yet cheap options to help fire the team back into the big time, which is where Jonah comes in (again he is not called Jonah, just I’m short of time… oh you remember the reason, why on earth am I still typing). Decent film and an interesting watch.

Avengers Assemble (2012) Sky Action 9pm

Surely you know about this.

Training Day (2001) ITV4 10.35pm

And this.

William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet (1996) Sky Drama/Romance 8pm

This you may be aware of, but you may not have watched. Please do, it’s one of the coolest films every committed to celluloid.

Anyway, glad that’s out of the way, again sorry about the rush…

Friday

Monsters (2010) FILM4 9pm

Some of you may know this, and some of you may not, but Godzilla is being remade. Yes, the original big monster movie is coming to the silver screen once again after sufficient time has passed since the 1998 remake monstrosity starring Matthew Broderick. Good Lord it was bad… Anyway, some of you may know it is being made by English director Gareth Edwards. Interesting thing is about this is that Gareth has only made one film before, and that was funded by a competition he won in which he had to create 10 minute short film in under 48 hours.  So Gareth - just to labour the point – won a competition, then made one film on a shoe string budget funded by the prize money, AND now he is directing a major Hollywood motion picture. Good Lord. For the less perceptive of you out there, Monsters is the movie Gareth made with the prize money. For the more perceptive of you out there you must also be thinking ‘fuck me, to make one film and THEN be given a massive budget to resurrect a massive franchise means that that one fucking film must have been fucking good’. And to the more perceptive of you out there I say, ‘yes. Yes you are right’. Now firstly dispel any notions of Monsters will have monsters trouncing all over the place and destroying things, this is not that kind of film. Firstly the special effects were basically created by Gareth on a home computer. That’s not to say when you do see the effects they are not amazing, they are just used…. Appropriately. Anyway,  the plot – Earth has been invaded by aliens who have been consigned to ‘infected zones’. Kaulder is a journalist working in South America who is instructed by his boss to pick up his stranded daughter and bring her back home safely. Naturally the only way to do this is travel through the infected zone. What follows is a tense, yet often, delicate film as we see the relationship between the two grow in amongst the Chaos. Don’t expect to see ‘monsters’ going round everywhere destroying everything, just try and watch the film without preconceived notions and you’ll have a blast. Especially when you pair it up with….

Cloverfield (2008) FILM4 10.50pm

Wow, what a fucking double bill! Especially considering that even though Monsters is quite tense, it also has some very tender moments – none so with this beast. Destruction is very much the order of the day! Basically a massive creature from the depths is awoken and decides to attack New York. Cloverfield follows 5 New Yorkers simply trying to survive – not save the day, just save themselves. It’s a film that will leave you on the edge of your chair throughout. Excellent film from producer J.J Abrams .

Scream (1996) BBC1 11.50pm

Man, I miss one fucking night and a shit loads of great films! Thank God for Sky+… Anyway, here is the film that reinvented a dying genre and ironically spawned a new wave of horror films that kind of missed the point of the preacher that inspired them. It’s a great slasher which is amazingly self aware and uses it to its advantage in creating something truly innovative and fresh. Brilliant.

Rest of the week to follow

Decent Films to Watch This Week (11/3)

Good Lord it’s cold! That wouldn’t bother me so much it’s just that Mother Nature is a bit of a cock tease. She gives you a glimpse of summer when she flashes some skirt, and you think you’re in there. Your trousers are tight and the newly erupted bulge in your nether regions upon seeing a bit of leg is causing them to go tighter – John Travolta has nothing on you. You are the man. You approach full of confidence, your mind is even getting ahead of itself planning trips here and there, perhaps even the odd ice cream – oh you devil. Just as you approach to let out your best line that would make Hugh Hefner giddy at the knee, she throws a glass of ice over you and then starts spitting on you while making wind gushing noises. We’ve all been there. Fuck off Mother Nature, I ain’t buying your lies again.

Oh who am I kidding; I’ll do the same next year.

Here are your choices for the week.

Monday

 

 

Ghost (1990) FILM4 9pm

Right, I’m going to do it, I’m going to finally watch Ghost. I can’t ignore it any longer. As a film fan I cannot be prejudiced towards any kind of film. So come on then Pat, Demi and Whoopi, collectively your names sound like the Danish version of Teletubbies, but here we go.

Chronicle (2012) Sky Premier 8pm

You have to watch this at some point this week and seeing as it is on every night you have no excuse really. A very impressive film, especially given the lack of budget, hype and other contributing factors that often lead to a film’s ascendancy, this film follows three lads who stumble across super powers. You can probably guess where the films going – with great power comes great responsibility – and that falls on deaf ears to one of the bunch who then goes all Tetsuo on everyone. Good film that will keep you entertained.

High Plains Drifter (1973) Sky Classics 10pm

At the very start of my blogging career I noted that westerns were something that I didn’t know that much about. I also noted I was a bit of a cunt in remarkably frank/inappropriate opening article. Out of the two things I could have addressed I have decided (in my infinite wisdom) that I should probably deal with the lack of western knowledge first and the ‘cunt’ issue second. Apologies for anyone who knows me – this was by far the easier and more enjoyable choice – which probably gives a telling insight into why I am a cunt. Further inappropriate ramblings aside, here is Clint Eastwood doing what he does best – being a mysterious stranger who has no aversion to shooting other people. Enjoy.

The Client (1994) FILM4 9pm

Who likes John Grisham courtroom dramas? Anyone? Helloooo? Well, guess it’s just my Dad as I haven’t watched this either. Seeing as my Dad isn’t available to write any recommendations (or offer me love and/or acceptance) I must concede power to the ever reliable bastion of knowledge that is EmpireOnline. But before then, just to give you a run down -  the film follows two young lads witness a very gruesome suicide. Just before the poor chap decides to end his own life, he has the good sense to bestow upon the lads some incriminating information for some mob connections he has. These mob folk (amongst others) get wind of the lad’s new information and thus decide to go after them. I will be watching because the premise does sound interesting and it has got some good reviews. Like this one for example:

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?FID=2812

The Fifth Element (1997) 9pm 5*

“Korbennnnn Dallassssssss”, I take it the majority of you are familiar with this film. If by some small chance you are not, then this film is a priority for you. Firstly it has Bruce Willis in it and Gary Oldman as a bad guy. That should really be enough for you, but if it isn’t it follows Brucey Baby protecting this alien god like creature (in the form of Mila Jovovich) from Hans Gruber’s grubby mitts, all set against the backdrop of (seemingly) Jean Paul Gautier’s version of Blade Runner (way more colourful and camp). Great action, some funny moments and it’s gorgeous to watch - brilliant cinema

Tuesday

Well, there’s really not too much on tonight that a) I haven’t already recommended or b) have recently recommended. In response to this predicament I have done a slightly unconventional recommendation list for tonight. Why? Well perhaps because I am innovative… or more likely I’m just too lazy. You decide

Are you in the mood for some brainless action?

Unleashed (2005) 10pm ITV4 or The Transporter (2002) 9pm 5USA

Two choices of who can deliver your “wham”, “bams” and “wallops” here – do you want England’s very own master of movie spinning kicks, Kelly Brook’s ex, Jason Statham. Or one of China’s finest exports, Mr Personality himself, Jet Li. If you want decent action you can’t go wrong with either, just don’t go expecting a plot that would keep Kyrpton Factor contestants up at night. Or anyone for that matter.

Are you in the mood for some not so brainless action?

First Blood (1982) Sky Action 1opm

Unlike the aforementioned films, this is a classic of the genre. Why? Cause it does have some brains behind the brutal action. Sly Stallone gives a great performance as the Vietnam Vet haunted by his past as he falls victim to unjust imprisonment at the hands of a small minded small town.  He then takes it upon himself to fight back. Good on you, John.

Are you perhaps in the mood for some horror/thriller/Brad Pitt goodness?

Se7en (1995) Sky Modern Greats 9pm

Regular readers will know how fond I am of this film – I consider it perfect in fact. So do yourself a favour if you haven’t watched it, and, erm… watch it. See? Seamless. On to the next one!

Are you in the mood for a really great film that hasn’t aged one bit and is rightly considered a classic?

The Sting (1973) Sky Classics 8pm

Robert Redford and Paul Newman provide one movie’s great partnerships as they star as two conmen swindling a mobster. Pure joy.

Are you in the mood for a really good indie flick which is mildly disturbing?

Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011) Sky Indie 10pm

Elizabeth Olsen emerges from the shadows of her older twin sisters to finally capture the limelight she so readily deserves – well if her performance in this is anything to go by anyway. Lizzy Olsen escapes an abusive cult to finally reunite with her family, but she finds letting go of the past harder than she imagined. Excellent film and well worth your time.

Are you in the mood for something to watch with the kids?

Hugo (2011) Sky Family 8pm

Sweet tale from Martin Scorsese about a young orphan trying to reconstruct a robot made by his late father. It’s a gorgeous film that will make you feel warm and tingly inside. The good warm and tingly, not the Dilshad warm and tingly.

Or

Shrek 2 (2004) Sky Modern Greats 7.15pm

Classic Dreamworks animation about everyone’s favourite ogre.

Are you in the mood to watch something that will make you want to claw your eyes out and replace the gaping wounds with sulphuric acid?

The 41 Year old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad about it (2010) Sky Comedy 11.50pm

No, just…no.

Are you in the mood to watch a great rom-com/Emma Stone/ some amazing abs/a guy look amazingly smooth in a suit?

Crazy Stupid Love (2011) Sky Comedy 8pm

I’ve wrote enough about this film that regularly makes me question my own sexuality. Of course I’ll end up watching it. Ryan so smooth.

Tuesday

Superbad (2007) 9pm 5*

Right, there you go, you know it’s on. But perhaps you’d like to try something different? Let’s say…

Oh who am I kidding, of course you’re going to watch Mclovin and co, but I’ll try anyway.

Take Shelter (2011) Sky Indie 11.50pm

Well this is what I’ll be recording tonight. EmpireOnline simply describes this eerie drama as ‘terrific’, so you know it’s probably gonna be good.  The film follows Michael Shannon (who will soon be the focus of the limelight as he is playing General Zod in the new Superman film due out later this year) and his family as some strangeeee goings on happen. Michael plays Curtis, and when Curtis witnesses these strange goings on he becomes more and more paranoid and decides to act accordingly – much to the dismay of his family. I’m really interested to see what this is going to be like…

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?DVDID=118940

The Birds (1963) Sky Classics 9pm

You know how I often criticise people for not watching movies they should have? They know a film is good they just simply choose to ‘watch it later’. Well chalk me up as a big fucking hypocrite because, ladies and gentlemen, I have not watched Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds. Awful. Basically some birds decide to attack the residents of a small coastal town for no apparent reason, and all hell breaks loose. I really am embarrassed I’ve never watched this film, and as usual for films I haven’t watched I have to post a review – even though you and I both know it is a classic.

Oh, it hasn’t got 5*’s… well blow me down! That’s still no excuse; I still have to watch it.

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?FID=16934

PS I Love You (2007) FILM4 9pm

And to complete a hat trick of films I have not watched tonight, here we have this… which I would usually not give the time of day except it has been recommended to me countless times. If, like me, you are unfamiliar with it, the plot follows a perfect couple torn apart when the husband dies – however he leaves a series of letters to help his dear wife move on after his early demise. So, as I can’t be snobby to any type of film, here we are… I will be watching this tonight. Fuck sake. It better be good Butler.

 

Thursday

There Will be Blood (2007) BBC2 11.20pm

Daniel Day-Lewis gives a master class in acting with this tale of a man trading his humanity (although it’s arguable if he had any in the first place) for untold riches during the great oil rush of the early 1900’s. The direction from Paul Thomas Anderson is perfect, the cinematography from Roger Elswit is exquisite, and the soundtrack from Radiohead’s Johnny Greenwood is ingenious – this truly is a modern great, albeit not an easy watch.

Friday

Fight Club (1999) Channel4 11.20pm

Following on from the last modern great is another one – it’s quite astonishing to realise that upon this film’s release it was not hailed as a masterpiece, far from it. Clearly the world wasn’t quite ready for the uber violence mixed with poignant satirical critique of modern society, both being equally hard to stomach. For the unfamiliar, Ed Norton is going through life on auto pilot, anaesthetized to the world around him. This all changes when Brad Pitt comes rolling on to the scene as Tyler Durden – the ultimate personification of machismo grace. Through Tyler, Ed  discovers what is important in life, namely the Nihilistic destruction of the human fabric dictated by society – which just so happens to include lots of fighting. Arguably my favourite director David Fincher directs this amazing film that will leave you feeling about as close you can be to being gobsmacked without it literally happening – although you’ll have a fair idea of how that will feel in some of the films more visceral moments.

Training Day (2001) FILM4 10pm

It’s Friday, you want something that is an easy watch, yet is undeniably awesome at the same time – here you go. Yes it’s the easy option to recommend this, especially as most of you have seen it, but I don’t care. If this comes on at the best of times I’m probably gonna end up watch it. Ethan Hawke is the new rookie on the beat in LA taken under the tutelage of living legend Alonzo Harris, played by Denzel Washington. The real crux of this film is seeing why Alonzo is a living legend and seeing what exactly – and the consequences that might entail. Denzel rightly got an Oscar for this film and in doing so created a lot of peoples favourite movie – great cinema.

Decent Films to Watch This Week (4/3/13)

Why hello everyone, aren’t these light evenings del--- Oh it’s gone already, never mind, least we’re heading in the right direction. Hey, but guess what! I’ve got something that can ligh….Oh I can’t do it, just enjoy the stinking recommendations you leeches.

Monday

 

 

Margin Call (2011) Sky Premiere 12.30am

Sorry it’s on a bit late (Mark), but just remember to record it and watch it tomorrow because this is a very good little film that has quality stamped all over it. The film follows an executive bank going into crisis as a couple of lower level guys stumble upon the fact that everything around them is going to crumble because of the impending global recession. For such a big problem this feels like an incredibly small and intimate film and it allows you to appreciate all the dilemmas that each character has to endure, thanks in part to its stellar cast. It’s a smart film that won’t cause your brain to go into meltdown, but will grab your interest throughout.  

Traffic (2000) Sky Modern Greats (2000
The first of two recommendations where (I am ashamed to admit) I haven’t watched the films… don’t shout, please, I’m delicate today! Thank you. The first is a Steven Soderberg film following the illegal drug trade from the bottom to the top.  Everywhere I look this comes highly recommended, and I’m pretty sure a lot of people have already watched this which really adds to my embarrassment. Oh well… Here’s EmpireOnline’s 5* review…so you know it’s good.

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?FID=133276

A Fish Called Wanda (1988) BBC4 9pm

My Dad always recommends this… All the bloody time. And it seems quite rightly so, because much like my last film, it has a 5* star rating on EmpireOnline and at least ‘a good’ write up everywhere else. The film is written by John Cleese and apparently this is very evident when watching the thing – think rom-com with Python-esque moments. It’s quite a complicated plot to summarise, but basically follows a couple who perform a bank heist only to double cross their boss who just so happens to have the key to all their loot. I’ve read three reviews of this film and they all use the word ‘hilarious’ several hundred times so I guess we’ve all got to watch it really if you haven’t already. Here’s EmpireOnline:

http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?FID=132438

Also of note:

Rocky (1976) CH5 11pm – Massively undervalued these days by the masses I feel, it really is brilliant cinema. “Adriannnnnnnnn!”

Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991) ITV2 11pm – One of the greatest sci-fi films of all time, you’ve all watched it, but just though I’d let y’all know it’s on.

Tuesday

(scene missing due to football)

Wednesday

The Truman Show (1998) Film4 +1 8pm

I haven’t seen this is aggggggggges! Which makes this edition to tonight’s schedule the even more delightful as I really do like this film. Jim Carrey really did knock the ball out of the park with this one playing a role straight(er) to great effect. If you’re not familiar with the concept, The Truman Show is about a man. A man by the name of Truman oddly enough (if only all film titles were this literal, “Don’t take heroin it will make your life shit and make you see dead babies” creates way more intrigue then “Trainspotting” – that doesn’t grab me at all).The catch is that dear old Truman does not know he is in his own show – this is a reality show of the highest order as it follows this chap throughout his whooooole life (I’m favouring more letters in words tonight to indicate hyperbole). Of course this doesn’t all go swimmingly - otherwise there wouldn’t be a film - so enjoy watching Truman and his self-discovery! Note: This is very different to the self-discovery I perform regularly to myself and have invited a select few to watch on webcam, so it’s fine to watch with the kids.

Project X (2012) Sky Comedy 11.20

Right, humble pie for me here. I didn’t want to watch this film I really didn’t. The reviews for it were generally quite bad – check out EmpireOnline’s review here…1* star…ouch http://www.empireonline.com/reviews/review.asp?DVDID=119036

But even the greats can make mistakes from time to time (they gave Taken 1* as well) because all my mates who have seen it say it’s really good. Yes my friends might be a group of gibbering idiots so that is really no reference point. BUT I assure you they keep the gibbering to a minimum and any idiots they encounter are purely within the remits of their own bedrooms (or backseats of cars, alleyways etc.). So yeah, I will be watching this film after all and I implore you to watch it with me – it will be like a journey of self-discovery… together! Hmmm….

Other films of note

Unleashed (2005) ITV4 10pm – Jet Li gets all kicky and punchy with Bob Hoskins and Morgan Freeman. Probably doesn’t like self-discovery.

Coach Carter (2005) Sky Drama/Romance 10pm – Samuel L Jackson gets all shouty and preachy with some high school kids. Promotes self-discovery. Doesn’t mix school and self-discovery. Very different film otherwise

Austin Powers: Goldmember (2002) Sky Comedy 9.40pm – Mike Myers gets all bad teeth and bad hair with beyonce. He probably likes self-discovery too.

Thursday

In Bruges (2007) FILM4 11.25pm

Oh I dearly love this film starring Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson about two hit men spending some time in Bruges following a botched hit – the film ticks so many boxes. Firstly, it’s very funny, and is very much black comedy of the blackest kind i.e. very black. Second of all it’s a very delicate film; you care about the characters and their problems despite their obvious short comings. And third of all, it’s a very charming film, from the fairy-tale like surroundings to the chemistry enjoyed by all the characters; it will have you smiling throughout – despite some pretty gruesome violence here and there. I can’t recommend this film highly enough and it was one of the most enjoyable experiences I’ve had in a cinema with my friend Dan Butler (hi Dan). … Just to clarify, the experience was good because of the film, not anything else that was happening in the cinema. Dan’s a good friend, but that’s it. Especially as he has a girlfriend now. Not that I’m bitter at all. Would it hurt to call once in a while, Dan? Would it? I’ll go an enjoy a film by myself in the cinema (self-discovery possible).

300 (2006) TCM 9pm

Who likes being a lad? I fucking do. Thing about me is, I’m a fucking lad. I love tits, beer and football… I love…. Oh I can’t keep this charade up any longer, I love vodka cranberries and Sex and the City way too much. But this is possibly one of the most laddish films every created. Loads of testosterone, loads of fighting and loads of blood. Ask any lad, they’ll bloody love this film! Even though all the lads are pretty much naked. Annnnd they enjoy getting hot and sweaty together. There’s also very little female interaction at all…. But yeah, a lad film! For real men! Who happen to like bumming other men.

Cedar Rapids (2011) Sky Comedy 1.25am – Delightful easy going comedy with Ed Helms from the Hangover.

Gangs of New York (2002) Sky Modern Greats 10pm – Delightful easy going blood bath with Leo Di Caprio from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape

Rest of the week to follow…